These are Anus-Clenching Times

The United States and Japan warned North Korea on Monday against a missile launch that experts say could reach as far as Alaska and threatened harsh action if the test flight goes ahead.
The warning coincided with the assessment by some officials that Pyongyang may have finished fueling for the launch of its long-range Taepodong-2 missile.
U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said a missile launch by North Korea would be viewed as a very serious matter and "provocative act" that would further isolate Pyongyang.
"We will obviously consult on next steps but I can assure everyone that it would be taken with utmost seriousness," said Rice at a news conference.
In Tokyo, Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi, who has twice met North Korean leader Kim Jong-il since taking office in 2001, said Tokyo, Washington and Seoul were all urging Pyongyang to act rationally and with restraint.
"Even now, we hope that they will not do this," Koizumi told a news conference. "But if they ignore our views and launch a missile, then the Japanese government, consulting with the United States, would have to respond harshly."
Koizumi declined to specify what steps Japan would take. The United States is consulting fellow members of the U.N. Security Council, said Washington's ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton.
Bolton said Washington did not know what North Korea's intentions were.
The United States has found itself blocked by veto-wielding council members China and Russia in past attempts to raise North Korea's nuclear-weapons program in the Security Council.
Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman said the United States had a limited missile-defense system. Asked if the U.S. military would try to shoot down a North Korean missile, he would not discuss details about the capabilities or potential use of the system.
"I will not get into or discuss any specific alert status or capabilities," Whitman told reporters.
South Korean broadcaster YTN cited officials in Seoul as saying a launch of the North's Taepodong-2 missile was imminent.
However, speculation that the missile would be fired over the weekend came to nothing, and forecasts of cloud and rain over North Korea until Wednesday could delay it even further.
Tension over North Korea added to downward pressure on the Japanese yen, Korean won and Taiwan dollar on Monday, although currency markets were more focused on rising U.S. interest rates.
North Korea shocked the world in 1998 when it fired a missile, part of which flew over Japan and landed in the Pacific Ocean. Pyongyang said it had launched a satellite. Since 1999, it has adhered to a moratorium on ballistic missile launches.
U.S. officials said Washington had warned Pyongyang against a missile launch through a message passed to North Korean diplomats at the United Nations, but it had had no response.
Australia, one of the few Western countries with diplomatic ties to North Korea, said it had summoned Pyongyang's ambassador in Canberra to express its concerns.
Reports of test preparations coincide with a stalemate in six-party talks on unwinding Pyongyang's nuclear arms programs.
In Seoul, across the heavily fortified border dividing the two Koreas, the daily Dong-A Ilbo quoted a South Korean government official as saying the launch could be imminent.
"We think North Korea has poured liquid fuel into the missile propellant built in the missile launching pad. It is at the finishing stage before launching," the official said.
Any test would be expected to involve a Taepodong-2 missile with an estimated range of 2,175 to 2,670 miles. At that range, parts of Alaska in the United States would be within reach as would Asia and Russia.
U.S. officials said Pyongyang could still decide to scrap the launch, but that was unlikely given the complexity of siphoning fuel back out of a missile prepared for launch.
Some experts say that if there is no launch within 48 hours of fueling, the fuel will break down and damage the missile.
But Cho Min, an expert on the North at Seoul's Korea Institute for National Unification, said fuel could stay for up to a month in the missile without causing major problems.