A modern-day fable

The LAPD, The FBI, the CIA, and the Department of Homeland Security are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending bad guys. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a white rabbit into the Great Smokey Mountains national park and each of them has to catch it.The Department of Homeland Security goes in. They place the entire forest on condition white. Squirrels, racoons, and foxes are all rounded up and shipped to a holding facility in another country as suspected associates of the rabbit. After a year of meetings and press conferences, they say that capturing the rabbit is not important. They then have the military invade Yellowstone National Park, saying it was a hotbed of rabbit insurgency.The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!