NO DEADLINE

Today's Mack Attack is aimed at American deaths in Iraq. More specifically, the deaths of American Journalists. The official number of American journalists killed in Iraq has reached 61. That number is only five short of the 20-year total of American journalists killed during the entire Viet Nam campaign. It is also only seven short of the total number of American journalists killed in both the Pacific and Atlantic theatres of World War Two.
There’s a message there, said The Miami Herald in a recent editorial. The Bush administration insists it’s making great progress in Iraq. But if a high-profile American news anchor isn’t safe there, “then it is fair to assume that practically no one in Iraq is.”
As someone who’s been there three times in the past 18 months, said Lawrence Kaplan in The New Republic, I can attest that every day, I found myself thinking, “I really have to get the fuck out of here.” Then I’d realize that the soldier next to me didn’t have the luxury of deciding when to escape.

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk"

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' or 'Apple, Option, Escape' and start all over?

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but if arrested, they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

Bumper sticker of the month: "If you can read this in English, thank a soldier!"


REPRINTED FROM TUESDAY


World War I began with an assassination, World War II with an unmitigated attack from the air. There is something frighteningly apropos about the fact that WWIII might just have been launched...with a cartoon.
There is also something surreal yet satisfyingly bizarre about the fact that Denmark, that pip-squeak European blip known for hardcore porn, hardwood furiture and delectable pastry, may possibly go down in history as the entity that bravely stood up for freedom of the press, and more broadly, Western ideology as a whole.
Freedom of expression and tolerating all the gratuitous, tasteless garbage that comes as an essential component of that freedom versus intolerant Middle-Eastern theocratic totalitarianism. That's what's playing out here.
This is heady stuff that has, with these latest events, passed the point of mere apology from either side. Neither of these value groups is likely to back down and neither is likely to compromise values so entrenched in their respective cultures. That being the case, an all-out culture-cum-holy war looms as a distinct possibility.There's no denying that Muslim protests are escalating toward military intervention. NATO peacekeepers (read: soldiers) have already exchanged fire with protestors in Afghanistan . In addition, the Bush administration has contacted its drilling buddies in Saudi Arabia and asked them to intervene before things really get out of hand . Meanwhile, in Bibb County, Alabama three more Christian churches have mysteriously been torched, making nine in total since Muslim protesting began on the same day the original six churches caught fire. To help escalate matters toward an all-out holy war, ol' Dubya himself went and accomplished something that Saddam Hussein tried and tried for years but never could accomplish...he banded all Arab nations against the US. Dubya went and did what every president since Harry S. Truman purposely went out of their way to avoid like the plague...he officially and formally stated for the record... that if attacked, THE UNITED STATES WILL DEFEND ISRAEL MILITARILY. No Arab country will fight alongside Israel, so to paraphrase one of Dubya's most famous lines, "Not one of them will be for us, so they're all against us."
Where this thing is headed is uncertain, but with Iran desperate to keep out United Nations inspectors and surely close to implementing long-range nuclear capabilities, and the match lit in the Middle East, something is definitely going to explode. Hopefully, it will only be the price of oil ($130 per barrel by some estimates if Iran turns off the American spigot) but it could possibly, ultimately, be the price of freedom...military action in defense of united outside aggression.